The question: A woman recently asked me what to do about her mother and other female family members being too involved in her wedding planning. The ladies are trying to invite their own guests. They are giving unsolicited advice about the menu and the wedding party’s attire.
My response: To begin with, I am not a fan of families. Sharing blood is not a good enough reason to treat another person like trash. That said, you have to realize that just because they are family members does not give them any right to have a say in your day.
I’ll wager that you don’t particularly care for most of these ladies. You wouldn’t buy them dinner or entertain them on any other day but you feel obligated to do so on your wedding day because “they’re family”. That logic (or lack of) drives me absolutely insane.
Stop feeling this way and stay true to yourself. Tell your mother and the rest of your family members that you don’t give a damn if they do or do not like a certain aspect of your wedding. YOU and your partner have a certain number of people that will be attending the wedding and THEIR guests did not make the cut.
Do not, under any circumstances, let them guilt trip you because you share DNA. Remember, they are the ones being a bunch of dicks, not you. If they can not handle these boundaries, then they don’t get to come to your wedding and you save $50 a head. I call that a win-win.
I love shocking people with my words whether written or verbal. I’ll shock them into laughter, letting their guard down, anger, all the feels that we experience. Sometimes though, I get shocked instead.
If you read through my Facebook page, you’ll read about my Death Call Kitty. My fiancé is a cop and when he went to a home of a deceased woman, a kitten ran out and we adopted him. If you read even more of my Facebook page, you would know that he is a little orange son-of-a-bitch.
One night he got out and wouldn’t come back for a while. True to form, I was outside cursing as I was trying to get Hastings (his real name) back inside.
My neighbors had to hear all of the commotion. It was in the middle of summer and I know their windows were open. Now, I must tell you that I adore my neighbors. They are kind and generous. They love our dogs and put up with our feral cats. They are just all around great people.
They are also religious and older than me. I always thought that both of these together meant they were very… shall we say… stern people that never cursed and were a little disgusted when they heard it.
A few weeks after the incident, my fiancé and I were at one of the yard sales that the wife was volunteering at to help her church. This was the first time I had seen her since my outburst and was a little nervous. I apologized to her for the vulgar interruption she must have endured and this was her response.
“I thought I heard you cursing around the back of your house. I was so happy to hear that someone else curses when they’re frustrated. I do it all the fucking time!”
That day she became not only my favorite neighbor, but my best friend and hero.