Question: Do you forgive someone for something they did for the sake of the family?
Answer part 1: Can we first agree that whatever the family member did was large enough and egregious enough to warrant this question? Agreed? OK, let’s move on.
I can read that question another way. Should I disrespect myself and disregard my emotions enough to let the family member get away with the harm they have caused?
Answer part 2: No! You should not forgive. It is not your responsibility to suspend reality to keep the peace between your family. It is the responsibility of that family member to understand that they can’t just be an asshole without consequences. Don’t feel bad for Uncle Jack because his poor social skills are catching up with him.
People take emotional and mental abuse so completely when it’s given by other members of their families. On the other side of that, abusers so easily give their abuse to family members.
You should never forgive abuse. Not now, not ever and certainly not by someone who is supposed to love you.
I posted a meme the other day where I wrote that not every action is good in every occasion. I feel I need to explain it a bit more.
I hear people talk about always standing side by side with their partner. I see posts on Facebook about always being there to pick someone up. No! Life and relationships shouldn’t work that way.
A relationship is not 50/50 all the time. You give more when your partner can’t. Your partner gives more when you can’t. THAT is a relationship. THAT is a partnership.
When you fall down, is it because you made a mistake or you threw yourself down in defeat? One of those scenarios require a friendly hand to pick you up. The other scenario requires someone to repeatedly kick you until you’re annoyed enough to pick yourself back up and keep going.
So, you see, every action isn’t proper for every occasion. We all need different help for different times in our lives.