Question: Will I ever find love again after a toxic relationship?
Answer: Unless you have learned absolutely nothing from your previous relationship, you will find love again. So the question you should be asking is, did you learn anything?
Did you learn to look for red flags? Did you learn that emotional and mental abuse is real abuse? Did you learn that your feelings and opinions matter just as much as anyone else’s? Did you learn what a relationship should NOT be?
I highly doubt you went through the hell of a toxic relationship and didn’t take any notes. You have grown from it and are ready (or will be someday) to begin anew.
Your first step is to remember that every person is different and therefore every relationship is different. I know you know this. But if you truly asked the original question, you needed to be reminded of it. The last thing you want to do is compare one person to another.
Another thing to remember is, don’t unpack your shit on the new person. You have been through a lot but that doesn’t have to define your future. Have a good time. Enjoy the person’s company. Listen to and trust your gut.
Love will come. You will find it. You will be happy again.
Please stop thinking that you are dealing with someone who is mentally healthy when in fact they are toxic.
I keep reading questions like “Why does he tell me he loves me one minute than screams at me the next?” Or “Can a mother be jealous of her daughter and wish her harm?” Or “Why can’t he understand (fill in the blank)?”
Because these people are not mentally healthy. If they were, these questions wouldn’t come up, would they?
Do you consider yourself mentally healthy? Of course you do. Are your actions the same as toxic people? No, they are not. Then why are you asking these questions? You know the answer. The other person is mentally ill.
What you need to do is begin every thought about that person with that disclaimer. S/he is mentally ill so blah blah blah. You will begin to see them in a new light and hopefully understand that your love and presence will not change them.
Don’t misunderstand me. Being mentally ill is not an excuse for being an asshole. If someone is treating you poorly, abusing you, or you just plain don’t like them....leave! You don’t have to stay with someone who is like that. Let their therapist deal with them. And if they don’t have a therapist, it’s still not your damn issue.