I recently spoke with a woman losing her boyfriend to cancer. Well, I talked, she sobbed. I would have liked to tell her that I understood her pain. That I was in her shoes before. I couldn’t. I haven’t lost anyone I love, yet. I have lost people in my life that I didn’t love or really even like. This brings me to my next blog post.
It's ok to not care or even to be happy when someone dies. It just depends on what they meant to you.
If you know me, you know I had terrible parents. I am a survivor of their alcoholic behaviors. I was abused both emotionally and verbally. So, when my parents died last year, I was fine with it. I was happy that that part of my life was finally gone. I’m not saying that I didn’t have a flood of memories come back to me. I’m not saying I didn’t cry. But it wasn’t because I was sad for what just happened. I understood why I was crying and allowed myself to feel it. I know I’m a good person filled with love for others.
If you have people in your life that are toxic or abusive, in any form, and they leave your life forever, it’s ok to not care. Know that you are a good person and this lack of what people deem ‘proper emotion’ is acceptable, natural and true to the situation.